You're driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also travelling at the same speed as you.
How on earth do you get out of this highly dangerous situation?
...
...
Get off the merry-go-round, you're pissed. :oD
toon wanderings
Dilbert's creator, Scott Adams, writes a daily blog where he muses on having a monkey's tail, fame, Aruba, losing lottery tickets and the originals of Dilberts that have been banned 
(who knew you weren't allowed to print a bum in the newspapers). Anything that occurs to him really. And, being a cartoonist, he's funny. His postings also seem to incite violent debate if you follow the comments posted - hundreds per post.
(who knew you weren't allowed to print a bum in the newspapers). Anything that occurs to him really. And, being a cartoonist, he's funny. His postings also seem to incite violent debate if you follow the comments posted - hundreds per post.
mac mad
Ok, I know I'm turning into a bit of a Mac freak. But I can't help it! I'm a packaging and presentation nut and they're just catching me at every turn! Searching for the pic of my iPod this morning I came across the new series of mac ads - Mac vs PC. Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with PC by any means, but even these ads are clean, neat, white, clear and well packaged. And yes, I've already downloaded them on to my iPod :oDWatch them.
spoiled rotten!
Robin got back from Panama on Friday and I got ridiculously spoiled! Seriously. I'm like a kid in a candy store. He has an amazing ability to buy gifts - not just for me, but for everyone. He somehow zeros in so well on what he knows you'll like. So Friday and Saturday were spent lazing in bed piled high by all my new toys! Below are some pics of my booty...
Brand new DKNY Red Delicious (not yet released here), Mac iBook-specifc laptop bag (has anyone tried to put a mac into a regular laptop bag? it's just silly), iPOD video 30G (now named Squirrel), Jean Paul Gaultier Classique (the latest bodice).
Not pictured here - a swish Tumi laptop bag in matching orange for when I want to dress up, knee-high brown leather boots from Panama city (very sexy!) and of course the chocolate!
So after a weekend of uploading my iPOD with music and video, and sorting all my tech into little compartments, I arrived at work on Monday swinging a stylish looking laptop, headphones plugged in and smelling dee-vine :o)
Thanks schnoof - you spoil me endlessly.
Brand new DKNY Red Delicious (not yet released here), Mac iBook-specifc laptop bag (has anyone tried to put a mac into a regular laptop bag? it's just silly), iPOD video 30G (now named Squirrel), Jean Paul Gaultier Classique (the latest bodice).
Not pictured here - a swish Tumi laptop bag in matching orange for when I want to dress up, knee-high brown leather boots from Panama city (very sexy!) and of course the chocolate!
So after a weekend of uploading my iPOD with music and video, and sorting all my tech into little compartments, I arrived at work on Monday swinging a stylish looking laptop, headphones plugged in and smelling dee-vine :o)
Thanks schnoof - you spoil me endlessly.
mac new york
You love shopping, and you love Mac - you're gonna LOVE this!!! Mac recently opened a new flagship store in New York. And not just new York - on Fifth Avenue darl! AND it's open 24/7/365! Besides being absolutely beautiful (it's like having the Louvre in New York), they have EVERY product you could want, and they hold workshops. So you can go and learning all sorts of thingy-things about your new mac.
I've definitely added this to my list of stops for New York in September.
I've definitely added this to my list of stops for New York in September.
so you think you're a true lost fan?
McFarlane - producer of some of the coolest toys around, including all the Corpse Bride, Nightmare Before Christmas and Alien vs Predator toys - has just announced the imminent release of a Lost set. Here you see Charlie inscribing the word on his hands - F.A.T.E. Now you can "own a piece of the show's mythology." McFarlane also does one of my special guys - the 10 inch Were-Rabbit from Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Were-Rabbit. He sits next to my TV. He's huge and heavy and way cool! [yes - i love toys :o)]
I have to admit I never really got the whole toys (ok, "action figures") thing. And I still don't really got the uber-fanatics who buy the entire series and keep them in the boxes never breaking the seal. I prefer to play with my things! But. And here's the BUT. After getting the Wallace toys, I'm hooked! I have 3 Wallace, and 1 Nightmare Before Christmas and I want MOOOORE! I have Corpse Bride and Nightmare Before Christmas on my shopping list. Tim Burton + McFarlane = happiness!
da woogsta went to survivor
Robin spent the first two weeks of shooting in Panama helping to set up and get things on the road. This is him in a tin can in the air. He gets back Friday! Wheee!
Here's the entry he wrote for the official Survivor blog:
Greg's making this trip look like a holiday, but the question is what's the coolest position on this island?
Logger
The business: Yes, you're at the heart of all footage, and you get the insight into styles of each and every cameraperson and director - a great place to start if you want a holistic look at the production of film and TV.
The drag: Long hours in front of a small screen detailing the minutiae of other people's work. And you don't get a tan.
Cameraperson [very pc of him :o)]
The business: There isn't a part of the world you haven't seen intimately through the finest detail of a high powered lens. You get to realise the vision others only imagine. And chicks dig you.
The rub: Other people tell you what to do all the time, then they cut and edit your work. Think of birthing a child, and then someone takes it. And the tech is heavy.
Director
The business: There isn't a person on the set who doesn't want to talk to you, and you get to tell each and every one of them what you want them to do. And they have to do it. You're god.
The twist: If anything goes wrong, with any person, doing anything, at any time, on any shoot – its your fault. You suck.
Creative Director
The business: You have absolute access to any part of the production, at any time, and even if they're halfway through a shoot, you can tell them its all sh*t and should be redone this way or that. You also get to pass your aesthetic opinion on what looks and 'feeeeels' better based on what you think looks and 'feeeeels' better.
The itch: A job where you pass opinions as fact; you're never responsible for things going wrong, only for looking right; no standard hours… You kidding me: this is without a doubt the ultimate position!
New Media Journalist
The business: While other people work, you watch them, sometimes report. That's a job.
The mixed blessing: The Swedish make-up/wardrobe girl never gets to undress our intrepid Greg!
Here's the entry he wrote for the official Survivor blog:
Greg's making this trip look like a holiday, but the question is what's the coolest position on this island?
Logger
The business: Yes, you're at the heart of all footage, and you get the insight into styles of each and every cameraperson and director - a great place to start if you want a holistic look at the production of film and TV.
The drag: Long hours in front of a small screen detailing the minutiae of other people's work. And you don't get a tan.
Cameraperson [very pc of him :o)]
The business: There isn't a part of the world you haven't seen intimately through the finest detail of a high powered lens. You get to realise the vision others only imagine. And chicks dig you.
The rub: Other people tell you what to do all the time, then they cut and edit your work. Think of birthing a child, and then someone takes it. And the tech is heavy.
Director
The business: There isn't a person on the set who doesn't want to talk to you, and you get to tell each and every one of them what you want them to do. And they have to do it. You're god.
The twist: If anything goes wrong, with any person, doing anything, at any time, on any shoot – its your fault. You suck.
Creative Director
The business: You have absolute access to any part of the production, at any time, and even if they're halfway through a shoot, you can tell them its all sh*t and should be redone this way or that. You also get to pass your aesthetic opinion on what looks and 'feeeeels' better based on what you think looks and 'feeeeels' better.
The itch: A job where you pass opinions as fact; you're never responsible for things going wrong, only for looking right; no standard hours… You kidding me: this is without a doubt the ultimate position!
New Media Journalist
The business: While other people work, you watch them, sometimes report. That's a job.
The mixed blessing: The Swedish make-up/wardrobe girl never gets to undress our intrepid Greg!
go england?
I've drawn England in our office soccer pool, so now I have someone to shout for besides Holland. Good thing I know who David Beckham is so I at least know my team! *phew*
ps: I also got Tunisia - I'm still searching the map...
bogus journo
If any of you are die hard Survivor fans, you're going to love this one! They're currently in Panama shooting Survivor South Africa - amidst the rain, mozzies - and according to today's account - cockroaches. How do I know all this? Well, there's a Survivor blog! One of our colleagues is there right now covering the production for the official website. And while he's there he's giving an inside scoop on what it's really like to be on the island. He's a really good writer to boot - these are his mixed blessings...
"Two months on a deserted island with nothing to do but write about TV. The perfect getaway, right? That’s what Greg Bowes, online journalist, thought too when he was asked to accompany the 14 lucky Survivors to a minute island in Panama. Currently living in room 1014 in a small hotel on a small island, Greg is reporting back daily on what it’s really like to be living amongst the mozzies, spiders and peacocks of this island paradise.
“Bruised, battered, beaten, bitten” was how he described his condition on day one – and that was before shooting began. Right now, Panama is anything but an island paradise. And not just for the Survivors. Having worked on major productions like Project Fame, Idols and Big Brother Nigeria, Greg is no stranger to the intensity and bustle that goes with a production of this magnitude. But his mettle is being tested daily as he tries to keep up with a crew of over one hundred bodies, and nail down the story for each day. Follow Greg’s daily adventures – and misadventures – in the exclusive behind-the-scenes blog – only on M-Net Online." ~ Ulindi Smit
the broken laptop i sold on ebay
Priceless! Basically some minor scam artist is selling defect products on eBay. After sending out a faulty laptop, the buyer - now known as "laptop guy" - managed to restore some of the hard drive and has hit back in this blog posting all the dodgy contents he's found. You may feel like stopping before you get to the bottom, but dont - it's well worth the read. It's also spawned another site where people have been posting comments and following the story as it begins to hit major newspapers and news broadcasters. Once you're done, send it on - let's see how far it can go before Amir-with-the-leg-fetish apologises.
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